Monday, February 20, 2012

You're Gonna Go Down There

Today, my son, my eight-year-old son, had a classmate inform him that he is going to hell. The child didn't use the word 'hell'; he said 'down there', but the implication is pretty obvious, assuming that there were no conversations going on at the time about trips to Australia or a cellar.

I'm not really shocked by this or anything. It's not the first time, and won't be the last. It's not even the worst thing the kids have been told. And I'm not angry at the kid. He was only repeating what the adults in his life have told him.

Here are the things that really get to me in this, though:

#1. Some parent apparently thinks it is okay to threaten their child with stories of eternal torment, so that the child, in turn, thinks it's okay to do the same to others. Think about it. "I'm going to burn you after school." Detention and counseling. "My big brother is going to burn you this weekend." Detention and police involvement. "My God is going to burn you one day." Amen, good Christian child, good job absorbing the teachings of our religion. Jesus is proud.

Hell (pun intended) yes it's a threat.

#2. I've imagined a conversation about this with the teacher, or principal, or the kid's parent, or even my own parent, and I know the answers I'd hear. I have had it before, and I know where the first layer of double standard is going to come up. I'm going to be asked why my son talks about it. He's not supposed to. I have to hope the other kid started the conversation. Because, you see, if this other kid started with "Why don't you love God?" then there is no fault, but if my kid stared with "I don't believe in God," it was a cruel assault on the other child's beliefs. Wrong and stupid. My kid has as much right to discuss what he believes as anyone.

However, in awareness of this double standard, we have rules that cover this. My children are not allowed to bring up religion at school (or in any place that is associated with school, such as the bus, field trips, or basketball games.) They may respond if someone else brings it up but may not bring it up themselves. I think this rule is unfair and inequal, but I recognize the need for it in our society, to protect them.

#3, the fact that this isn't the first and won't be the last time. Last time, the same kid was told that when our house burned down, God burned it down intentionally because we don't believe in Him, and meant to kill us.

And #4, that fact that I feel the need to justify, here, and let you, the reader, know that my kid *wasn't* the one who brought it up, and defend him before someone asks how the kid knew he didn't believe in God. The fact that I feel like I should tell you- my older son told someone last year that *he* didn't believe in God, told one person, and that person spread it, and that since then, kids have asked both of my boys. That neither of them takes it upon himself to volunteer the information, anymore, but that they're always asked.That I think I owe that as defense, when I don't. If my son had said, "Hey, classmate, I don't believe in God!", "You're going [to hell]" would still not have been an appropriate response.

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